Yesterday, church was great for an entirely different reason. I was in an admittedly bad mood upon arriving at the building. I was tired and hungry and not in the mood to be anywhere other than curled up on the couch with my wife watching a mind-numbing TBS special. Be that as it may, I did my best to be a good member of the church and went anyway, determined to have a positive experience. Little did I know that my very determination was to be my Abrahamic trial of the day.
The opening hymn was nice. The meeting opened with a sincere plea for the spirit. Two babies were blessed. Then the "fun" began. One after another, the crazies got up and "testified" of what they know is true. Apparently, one woman's testimony includes a long, drawn-out story about a trip to Utah and the phrase "air in the tires" repeated 57 times. Another person had a spiritual experience with the sale of her horse. Hmm... The self-proclaimed old woman of the ward related a story about when her grandson "pwaid (said in a self-appointed child's voice)," not prayed, he thanked God for 'wubbow duckies.' No one could have said it better, though, than the sweet sister who stood and recapped with perfect concision, "You know, we've heard many words today that testify of God's love for us. Tires, horses, rubber duckies... These are the things that let us know He loves us."
WHAT!?! "Where am I?" I think to myself. "Have I accidentally gone the the mental ward? Or am I the crazy one?"
Thankfully I was able to look over and see Kristen's confusion and surprise too. That's when the meeting really got fun for us. Yes it's true. The bishop could see the whole ugly display as we were sitting five pews from the front, red-faced with muffled laughs, but we had little choice. It came down to either leaving the church for fear of being counted one of the Castle Rock Crazies, or else remaining in the membership of the church and laughing at the insanity surrounding us.I'm still proud to call myself a member.
6 comments:
oh how i wish we were sitting by you, at least then I would have laughed, instead I failed completely going out of my mind insane and getting madder with every nutjob that walked up there!
i say we monolpolize march's testimony meeting with our own stories- ryan's got a great one about friendship... ask him.
Ooh, that's a good idea. I've got a story about how when I walked to work in the 0 degree weather my nose hairs froze. It totally showed me how God loves me.
I think I'll get up next month in Bry and Shannon's ward and do a crazy testimony, making sure everyone knows we're related.
I'd like to see you all in my office- NOW!
:D
after talking about sacrament meeting with kristen, she told me about your post. unfortunately for me, evan was the lucky one out with colton meaning i was left to roll my eyes alone.
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