I think there is something to learn from this whole dilemma. Big business should not be allowed to purposefully cause their consumers to become addicted to harmful substances. Harmful substances. So I propose something radical. Let's use the same principles we've been battling against to do something good. Let's use these potent drugs (i.e. nicotine, cocaine) to push something everyone needs and no one wants--lima beans.
I'm not sure exactly how to work out the logistics of it, but I think it would involve growing our little lima-green friends in caffeinated water along with a wicked marketing campaign that is sure to cost millions in advertising dollars. But that money would be recouped quickly once the craze began. And here's the best part. We'd follow the example of our cigarette forbears and wouldn't tell anyone that we're adding addictive substances until after we've all lied about it before a grand jury. Then we'd all sit back and have a good laugh about how 10 years ago nobody would have touched a lima bean with a ten-foot pole, but now we all keep a spare can in the trunk of the car just in case we need a quick fix.
If all it took was a little nicotine to convince the masses that inhaling burning tobacco is something they can't live without, just think of the food we could manipulate our children into eating using the same business plan. Cocaine-laced okra sound tempting to anyone? Maybe not now, but it will.
2 comments:
HILARIOUS, Darron. Okay, maybe it's bad form for the wife to tell the husband how funny he is, but we all know that Chanel and I are the only two readers of this blog anyway, so it can't hurt, right? So, if this little campaign worked, would lima beans eventually be against the Word of Wisdom, and there would be a debate like the chocolate/Diet Coke/coffee argument? You know, like lima beans are not okay, so perhaps other legumes are now suspect? Makes you wonder...
It does beg the question.
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