i am the walrus

...and by walrus, I mean outsourced worker in a third-world country. This is the impression I get, anyway, when speaking with my British counterparts at work. We've had a manager imported from London to help set up the office in Denver. While this person is lovely and polite in every way, he has a habit of saying things like, "Everything here is dirt cheap!" He is ecstatic when he's able to go out to dinner for under $50. He carries bills around like Monopoly money. Apparently things are so cheap in America that Brits will fly to NYC for the weekend to do their Christmas shopping! Even with the price of airfare and lodging it's less expensive than just buying gifts in London.

One of the big-wigs was here not long ago. He callously declared that he won't be hiring people in the UK anymore because he can get two of us for the price of one of them. Excuse me? Did I hear you say you're giving me a freaking huge raise? It's worthless green paper to you anyway, right?

As an IT team we are constantly evaluating what can be sent to our counterparts in the Philippines because they work for so little. I'm beginning to understand that I am only the next rung up from the bottom of a very tall ladder.

What's happened to the economic leader of the free world? Our dollar is practically worthless next to euros, pounds, and soon even the Chinese yuan. Who are we to make economic sanctions against Iran and North Korea? They should feel about as threatened by us as we would by Mexico closing its borders. How motivating would that be!?! Oh we're really sorry, Mexico. We'll stop our uranium enrichment; just please don't cut us off from the amazing chewing gum and Tijuana blankets we've come to depend on. Come on. The so called axis of evil should be much more afraid that England or Germany might cut them off than America.

I've been listening to my coworker flippantly comment on the hard truth about the value of the American dollar for some time now. I'm finally coming to terms with it, and I think I'm okay with it. I just have to keep reminding myself that if England or any other country gets too far ahead of us economically and doesn't want to ally anymore, we'll just declare war on them. Or worse yet, we'll rename their foods to something beginning with "freedom." Blood pudding sounds pretty gross, but I could definitely go for some freedom pudding with my freedom fries.