father's day

I had a great Father's Day--my first official. It was comforting to realize that even though I now have a child of my own, and therefore don't have to feel silly for standing in church to receive the Father's Day treat, nothing else is different. I don't mean at home. Lots was different at home. Kristen made me breakfast in bed, took care of the baby, gave me presents and a card and just generally made it feel like a special day. That was wonderful. The part that doesn't change happens outside the house.

It is a well-known fact to members of the church that on Mother's Day there are sentimental talks about the sacredness of motherhood and personal stories of the speaker's own mom. The primary children will file up to the front and serenade their moms with an emotional rendition of Mother, I Love You. All women who are 18 years or older will then receive some kind of thoughtful gift; a flower, book or treat of some description.

It is also well known that on Father's Day, the congregation can expect a service devoted to Fatherhood. It usually takes a different tone however. This year did not disappoint.

The main message of the meeting was that the men in the chapel ought to straighten up and fly right. No kudos for a job well done. No heartwarming stories about dads-gone-by. Just an implicit reprimand, backed up by scripture. I admit that the speaker got misty when speaking of her own father. She choked back a lump in her throat as she told us that her dad never said 'I love you' and never went to a single one of her basketball games. Aww, so sweet.

At long last her talk was over and the children were ushered forward to sing. At least the kids will convey a loving message about their dad's who are sitting within spitting distance, right? Wrong. Instead they sang I Am a Child of God. So, on Father's Day they sang a song about how they have a better dad in Heaven...great. It may have been better to just be spit on.

There was redeeming value in the meeting though. We got cookies.

guest room relegation

Kristen's having a board meeting downstairs with all leaders in the Founders Ward Young Women's Organization. That means that every chair in our house is crammed down into our tiny kitchen. And that means that I'm confined* to the upstairs rooms...without any chairs.

So here I am, kneeling on the floor of the guest room, typing this. Is that dedication or what?

*Kristen told me that I could watch TV downstairs, but somehow I'd feel like a real jerk watching reruns of Friends 10 feet away from the council gathered around my dining table.

a family-friendly game

My baby girl has developed a new game, the rules of which I'm just beginning to understand. It's something we play when I feed her solids. Her mom plays too, but she gets more practice than I do and is much better.

OBJECT
The object of the game is to shovel tiny spoonfuls of pureed food into Emma's mouth as quickly and methodically as possible.

Once you get the right rhythm down, it goes pretty smoothly--Get the food, wipe the spoon, move to mouth, feed. Get the food, wipe the spoon, move to mouth, feed. It helps to repeat this mantra while acting it out.

RULES
If you cannot keep this pace, or if the food is too coarse, or there's too much carrot and not enough apple sauce or if Emma gets distracted by the window then the second round of the game starts--defence.

For every cycle that is off, she sticks two fingers from her right hand into her mouth. When this occurs, the other player is blocked from completing the cycle and must return to the start position of 'get the food.'

OPTIONAL VARIANT
The block may be followed by a typically short, but sometimes lengthy wail directly preceding the 'feed' part of the cycle.

END
The game ends when:
(a) all food has moved from the bowl into the baby's mouth, onto her bib/clothing/face, or onto the floor.
(b) the baby's arm is reflexively drawn into her mouth repeatedly until feeding is no longer possible and fingers are only partially removed for crying.

WARNING
Should scenario (b) occur, please consult the nearest Mother, as she is better equipped to restart and successfully complete the game.