I’m now sharing an office with three people. This has actually been the case for awhile now, but I’ve finally accepted that my fortress of solitude has been breached and it’s time to take action. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all great…er, fine at least. There’s only so much pointless small talk and office banter I can take though. If I’m within earshot of the sales guy saying “due diligence” one more time I can’t be responsible for what I do. 137 times in one day is just too much. And 137 times a day every day is slow, time-released suicide. The phrase is haunting me. I’m waking up in the middle of the night, cold sweat on my brow, worried that I haven’t done my due diligence. What does that even mean!?!
I thought my savior had come in a moment of inspiration. I remembered that I had headphones stuffed in a cabinet somewhere. I don’t bring CDs to work and I don’t have an iPod. That really leaves just one option—streaming.
There are a few problems with this. The first is that there is too much selection out there, too many online stations. The second is that each selection is far too narrow. And the third problem is that the narrow selections are generally pretty bad. All Barry Manilow, all the time. Beatles Mania. (Yes, there is such a thing as too much Beatles.) Hip hop ‘til you drop: Exclusively Hammer.
The one I actually listen to is the 80s station .977. I like 80s music. Men at Work, Divo, HoJo, Cindy Lauper and Salt ‘n Peppa are quintessentially 80s and should all be in the Music Hall of Fame. Heck, I’ll even go for a little Kenny Loggins if I’m feeling dangerous…and a little sentimental…and in the mood to eat Taco Bell with a one-eyed quarterback from Chicago. But why can’t .977 play more than 20 songs? Flashdance is a classic, but if I hear the theme song one more time, Irene Cara’s going to be doing more than dancin’ for her life—she’ll be runnin’ for it because I’ll be chasing her in a postal-esque rage.
Listening to my office mates causes homicidal tendencies, and Prince on repeat doesn’t offer desperately needed solace. So what’s the solution? I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with finding inner peace through zen meditation…and earplugs.
Have you heard? Owen Wilson's recent trip to the hospital was an apparent attempted suicide. The few details that have officially been released are in this MSN article.
